¿ ŋάkзđ ļŭŋĉħ

the clock hanging on the wall of my room is stuck at 12 hour 0 min 6 sec and the date says monday 12th. looking at it with such amazement ... and thinking my life now is somewhat at a point where changes are becoming less significant. its like no surprises, same old tedious daily routine. not too excited about anything, not depressed either ... same old same old, the usuals. something like the music i m listening to right now by bitcrush entitled post. feels like i m standing in the middle of no where. everything around me is moving so fast. people walking by me, talking about stuffs, cracking jokes, some laughing out loud, some crying, some fighting, some making out. and i m in the midst of all these happenings ... but yet i feel nothing ... feels like absolute isolation. just cant xplain it. but it feels good. feel like dancing to the rhythm of the music with my eyes closed. i m calm. the song stuck in a moment (by U2) makes more sense now ...

so bz lately ... cant find tym to relax, or just hang around. but i m kinda likin it u kno. dis workin over da clock n stuffs. its fun. wait wait wait, hold it right der ... dat doesnt sound lyk me!! lolz.

the sun ws almost out. sky getin darker every minute. few raindrops, just enuf to make ur hair get wet. i ws exhausted. wanted to go home. cudnt find a taxi. ma head ws all jammd up. i felt restless. da air seemd still all of a sudden, just lyk whn a storm ws abt to come. i look up in da sky. i c a flock of birds flyin, to da south may b. for dat very moment, i felt i ws flyin wit dem. ma head felt light just lyk dat. no crapy thots, no depression ... no nuthn. it ws sumthn i cnt xplain. it simply felt good. dat one moment i ws free. da world seemd lyk a better place ... peaceful. 

i mite not b perfect, i mite hav done dozens of mistakes by now. well not may b ... yeah i did. but der's one thing dats perfect so far ... dats wat insyd me, its my own prison. not a single person in my lyf is aware of wats goin in my head ... nobody. i let dem think however i want dem to think. its my perfection.

everybody has one or more bad habit ... nobody is perfect. so i got one too. wats da big deal man! well, sum wud say its a lil bit more dan just a bad habit. i say dats just a part of me, dats who i m :p

loads of stufs to rite abt, scatterd thots to be precise. bz nowadays wit da work n shit ... so nt getn da tym actually to sit down n rite abt it. neways ... too damn tired nw :p just wanted to kip ma blog alive ... will rite soon.

cnt fuckin wait no more. so signed up for a new private blog, as i lost da pass for ma old one. newayz, tryin to upload sum pics frm ma convocation in ma fotoblog. chk dem out.

whn sumbody expects u to say sumthn, but u dunno wat to say or u just dnt wana say it .... den wat do u do?? ne bri8 ideas ... here's wat i did, kept silent .... just realized sumthn, i put maself in sum of da shitty situations all by maself. cud hav handled it better. but took da twisted way, altho da ez way out ws alwayz der infront of me. still is i think, to sum extent. well ... da rest of dis crap talk is left for sevenlives, nt here :p ... too personal.

whn da day is done, i kno wat u r but wat m i? dese days, all i do is screw up. negligence may b? or m i lost. need a really good cloak, or just need to fig out sumthn. mayb tomorrow will find ma way ... just mayb.

sumtyms u expect just a bit more dan u get, still u cnt do or say nethn abt it. cuz its not ur tym, not just yet. u decide to accept things as dey r. nw here is da ironic part, evrytym things dnt liv up to ur expectations .. u say to urself, dis is it. no more high hopes. still, as tym goes by, u forget wat hapnd in da past n raise ur hopes once again, may b even more. n so ur expectations get shatterd again; n it just kips goin on ..... pathetic, simply pathetic.

simple lies ... of wat we r, wat we hav ... wont hurt nemore
---- x ----

sumbody once told me -- ma eyes talk, or may b ws it sumthn else she said. cnt recall wat ws it abt. dnt even kno y dis came to ma head all of a sudden .... weird.